American Idol Contestant Scares, Children, Elderly

ALL OVER AMERICA, In an unprecedented case tonight, American Idol contestant Sanjaya Malakar was reported to have frightened 50% of the viewers of the popular prime time contest with his "Utterly awful" performance. The frightened individuals responded in a survey taken by the National Couch Potato's of America, and were comprised mostly of women, children and elderly. It has been highly suspected that the remaining 50% were simply trying to act tough.

"It was really scary!", one smaller viewer was quoted. "His Hair looks like a monster!". Other people interviewed after the contestant's performances Tuesday night compared the mangy-maned singer to a wookie, a stalker, a creepy individual, and most uniquely to a fuzz-brained-half-witted-explative. "I just don't like it when he stares at the camera like that", exclaimed Jane D. from Texas. "It just gives me the Heebie Jeebies! I would not want to cross him in a supermarket at all!"

Mrs. D, a sweet old lady from the great state has been an avid follower of the American knock off show. It hasn't been until this season that she has seen the show decline. "If it weren't for the bingo night being on Monday's, I wouldn't watch it at all. I do like watching Paula dance when the boy's sing though."

American Idol, in it's sixth season this year, has drawn record numbers of fans over it's short past, and has made the careers of such great artists such as William Hung, and of course the all time great - Ruben Studdard. Other honorable mentions have included Carey Underwood, who's fledgling career has started to gain the attention of Nashville.

This season however has been plagued with controversy. Many fans find the contestants to be mediocre in comparison, and downright awful. "What's up with that no-neck woman", claimed B.J. Icanovichomeister. "I could do better than her!" In fact of the survey respondents in the N.C.P.A survey, an overwhelming majority were disappointed with the talent represented this year.




***Note: In case you haven't already figured it out, the above story is a parody of the ridiculous phenomenon that is American Idol, and should be taken as such.